The Things People Say During a Survey

The Things People Say During a Survey

By CWNP On 07/06/2011 - 29 Comments

I spent the better part of last week in the Southwest US with George “I eat Pad Thai every day” Stefanick (@wirelesssguru), doing a WLAN controller install, cutover, and validation. The good pleasure of post-install surveying belonged to me, and I had fun doing it. I got a bit of exercise and found myself often entertained—and occasionally frightened—by the office folk and their curious looks, comments, and questions.

Many onlookers scratched their head in complete confusion as to my purpose, while others were able to identify that I was up to the business of wireless, in one form or another. People say funny things at the office.

Confused Office Woman 1: What are you doing? M to the B: Checking for Wi-Fi coverage Confused Office Woman 1: Good. My cell phone hasn’t been working well lately.

Confused Office Woman 2: What are you doing? M to the B: Checking for Wi-Fi coverage Confused Office Woman 2: Oh, I don’t care about Wi-Fi. Can you fix the 3G coverage?

Clever Office Dude: Can you hear me now?

Curt Office Woman: What are you doing? M to the B: Checking for Wi-Fi coverage Curt Office Woman: The Wi-Fi is fine, but the Internet never works. You should focus on that.

Whispering Office Women: That guy looks dangerous…

Thinking out Loud: What are those things on your computer? Oh, USB… I see.

Paranoid Women: Are you a spy?

Paranoid and Suspicious Women: Are you spying on us? M to the B: Yes, I’m recording conversations around the office to discover unrest among the natives… (long pause) … I’m kidding.

Relieved: What are you doing? M to the B: Checking for Wi-Fi coverage Relieved: Am I covered? M to the B: Yes, it’s solid. Relieved: That’s great! Thanks!

Thinks He’s a Wireless Expert: What are you doing? M to the B: Checking for Wi-Fi coverage Thinks He’s a Wireless Expert: My computer shows low bars. M to the B: Oh really? Thinks He’s a Wireless Expert: Yeah. You’re walking around too fast. You should go slower. M to the B: I’ll take that into consideration. Cube Neighbor: Shut up, Thinks He’s a Wireless Expert! [To Me:]He’s an idiot, just ignore him.

And the grand prize winner… Giggling women: Are you scanning for elephants? M to the B: Yes.

My presence also stopped many guilty-looking whisper sessions between cube neighbors. Oh the things I would’ve heard, if only I tried. Many quizzical looks came my way, as if my USB adapters were microphones and my true intent was to uncover and report on salacious office scandals. I wish. Such a job would be much more fun than validating RF behavior.

I also narrowly escaped an office attack. For proper survey resolution, I had to enter some of the offices around the perimeter hall of the building. Being the courteous person that I am, I only entered empty offices, but one woman was standing nearby, poised to defend her territory. When I breached her office door, she made her way—with frightening haste—near. With a scowl that makes Bill Belichick look like a happy cherub, she sternly asked what I was doing. I prepared for an act of hostile removal and bludgeoning—as you might expect from a she-bear defending her young—but my explanation appeased her ferocity. This article is testament that I escaped unharmed.

After reporting my harrowing tales of office adventure to “I eat Pad Thai every day” Stefanick, we decided to standardize the survey response:

Office Person: What are you doing? Surveyor: Measuring radiation in the office … did you get the memo?

Tagged with: site survey, WLAN, humor

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